The Weight of Lonliness

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for am your God. I will strengthen you and help you: I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

           During this past holiday season, it was a rough time for many individuals; especially for those who were single. I had countless calls from people who were single, such as myself, and where troubled by yet another holiday of being alone. The common complaint was, “I am tired of year after year watching everyone else with someone and yet, there’s no one for me.” One friend decided to bypass the holiday functions altogether because of what she considered as “embarrassment” of yet another year having to go to the family party with a number of 1.

It wouldn’t have been so bad for her if it weren’t for the questions that she received year after year of, “When are you going to settle down and get married? Why aren’t you married yet? Girl, you aren’t getting any younger, so what are you waiting on?” Yes, definitely, questions one would wish to avoid…and so she did.

          This wasn’t limited to just the females. Males were complaining as well that women say they want a good man, but don’t act right when they find one. Therefore, instead of hanging out with friends, who were coupled up already-- a microwave dinner, can of soda, and a remote control had to suffice. This was what being alone was reduced to. The thought of yet another failed date, relationship, or messy split-up which was not appealing. So, home alone he was.

          Then there was one of my older friends. She’s in her 60’s and she is still holding on to holding on. She didn’t care anything about the holidays, so that wasn’t her plight. She claimed that she was okay being by herself, but every now and then, she would let it slip that she wouldn’t have minded being with someone. However, at her age, she decided that her chances would be slim after years of waiting. Her children were grown, and she would see her grandchildren  every now and then, but in her little place of hearts, she felt alone.

          Then there was me. Listening to everyone’s complaints and totally understanding their plight. Even though they were talking to me for support, I totally understood where they were coming from. Been there…done that. I could understand why the one friend didn’t want to go to the parties and get asked the same questions year after year. Some people act like good relationships grow on trees, and the earth is springing them up like grass on the ground. So when they ask, what I consider dumb and insensitive questions, you tend to look at them like… really? Do you think someone who has reached maturity would really choose to be single, while everyone is blossoming around the planet?

          Don’t get me wrong, I think the majority of people are happy for others when they find happiness. If you’re not…you need to go take a HAPPY pill. Don’t hate on someone because they were blessed and yours hasn’t come yet. Be happy for them, but it is okay to ask God about your particular situation. Keep in mind, you would want others to be happy for you, so you should be the same towards them. However, it is understandable when you’re going to everyone’s wedding but yours, everyone’s shower but yours, everyone’s family gathering but yours, and everyone’s anniversary party but yours. It can be challenging.

          So what do you do to fight off the weight of loneliness? The best thing you can do is to PRAY. I know some people would not want to hear this, but it is the true solution to helping one deal with those feelings. God knows and understands what you are going through. He created you, so He knows your deepest desires and dreams. He’s the one who put the desire to be attached in us. Attached doesn’t mean married, but it can mean friendships as well. We weren’t meant to be or feel alone. Rather that is in a marriage or friendship, God created us to be around people. We were not supposed to live secluded lives.

Now for those who are single, prayer is especially important and the best weapon to fight the weight of loneliness. God will give you peace until He sends someone for YOU. Talk to Him and tell Him your needs and wants. He already knows, but He just may be waiting for you to build that relationship with Him FIRST before He gives you His Fatherly blessing, and hand you off to someone else. Try talking to God every day when you wake up. Talk to God about how your day went. Talk to God about the course your life is on. Talk to God as if you were talking to your future mate. Do this, and watch God open up new relationships in your life, rather they be courtship and/or friendship. God bless! I invite you to get my newly released book titled, “Love: Begins at the Heart of God by K L Rich,” which is available on Amazon.com. It will help you to build a relationship with God that you never knew was possible.