Some years
ago, while in my mid-twenties, I met this guy at our place of employment. We
instantly hit it off, started dating, and eventually moved in together.
Immediately, I noticed that he liked to watch porn on the internet. I wasn’t
enthused about it, but I didn’t say anything to him. I never investigated what
he was watching because I wasn’t into that type of thing. However, I knew that
was what he was watching because he told me.
At the time, I considered myself a
Christian, but I wasn’t doing Christian things. It bothered me that we were
living together in sin, so I told him that we would either have to get married,
or the relationship couldn’t continue. We both agree that we would get married.
However, things didn’t go smooth.
Members of my family didn’t
particularly care for him, but that wasn’t the reason things went south. He
decided that he no longer wanted to be in a relationship because he wanted to
be with someone who was slimmer. Mind you, I wasn’t skinny when he met me and I
had actually lost weight during the time that we had been together. However, I
wasn’t thin enough for his taste. He wanted someone who was in a single digit
and that surely wasn’t me.
Well, we broke things off and during
that time, I was very hurt. This was someone whom I really cared for and tried
to be really good to. We had already set a date, I had my dress,
etc. However,
that didn’t matter and so we went our separate ways. There were times when we
would do the “hook up” but nothing ever came out of it. One day, I decided to
move from my location and I didn’t leave a forwarding address or phone number
because I knew that I needed to move on without
him.
It took a while for me to get over the
breakup and my self-esteem was at an all-time low. For a long time, I viewed
myself through his eyes and so, I wasn’t happy with myself or my looks. I felt that
no one would want me because I wasn’t thin. What I didn’t know was that it wasn’t
in God’s plan for me to be with him.
Years past and I got more active in
church and started taking God more seriously. I pretty much stopped dating with
an occasional one here and there. Those didn’t go anywhere and that was okay,
because this time, I knew that I had to marry the one that God had for me. No
longer would I search on my own to find Mr. Right. He would have to find me.
Well, just recently, I became aware that
the guy I had been dating, had been arrested a couple of years after we broke
up for “Child Pornography.” He had
been caught with pornographic pictures on his computer of a girl that was 12
years old. Wow! No wonder he didn’t want me because he wanted children. When I
found out about this, all I could say was, “God Thank You!” I am so glad that
God did not let me get caught up with someone who was obviously sick.
I say this to anyone who is dating
someone that watches porn, do not take that relationship any further. You never
know where that will lead down the road. If you are into porn, get some help!
Do not allow the things of Satan to take you down a road that you can’t return
from. Now this is not to say that everyone who watches porn is into children.
However, if you have to be sexually satisfied from a screen then something is
wrong. Furthermore, for singles, we have to wait on God even when it gets
rough. For married, get counseling if this is taking place in your marriage.
This can be destructive especially for a Christian home.
I pondered over if I would share this
with you, but I know that this will help someone and therefore, I am to be a
testimony for God. I thank God that He
blocked me from marrying that man, and what I thought was the worst thing
at the time was actually a blessing. Sometimes God will shut doors to prevent
you from falling off a cliff. Remember that every closed door is not a bad one.
God loves you! Be blessed!
