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Friday, May 25, 2018

Narcissists Are to Their Victims as Kryptonite is to Superman

Narcissists Are to Their Victims as Kryptonite is to Superman
Psalm 82:2-4 How long will you defend the unjust and show partiality to the wicked?
Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.
Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked. (NIV)

            You may have found yourself sinking deeper and deeper into a despair not understanding why you had feelings of inadequacy. The emotional drainage was weighing down on you whenever you would be around a particular individual. This person could have been a parent, sibling, friend, boss, co-worker, or someone you were in a relationship with. Nothing that you did was acceptable and they were able to find fault in everything you did. The expectations placed on you were impossible to measure up to and even if you did, the bar would go higher once you made the mistake of thinking that you had achieved them. You were put down for not being all that you could be in “their” eyes and yet, you did not see them accomplishing the same demands that they placed on you. This did not stop you from trying to appease them, but the more you tried the worse you felt and they seemed to squeeze the life from your very being until one day, you woke up once you began to be educated as to what you were dealing with and finally made the choice to say, “No more!”
            In the numerous Superman movies that have been made in Hollywood over the years, the one thing that was the ultimate weakness to the fictional hero was Kryptonite. Any time Superman was in the presence of Kryptonite, it would weaken him to a state of having just the strength of an ordinary man so much so that it could eventually kill him. This Kryptonite was very valuable to his enemies such as Lex Luther because it was the only way that he could have control over Superman. Lex knew that he was no match going toe to toe with Superman, but if he could get his hands on Kryptonite, he could bring Superman down to his knees. Narcissists are the same way with their victims. They like to find your weaknesses and use them against you. This is why it is important for you to remember that you never tell the narcissist anything that they can use against you.
            Narcs will sliver up to you as if they are the most caring individuals, but as soon as you let your guard down, they will bite you on impulse. Why is that? It is in their nature because they are mentally unstable individuals who seek to do harm to others. Would you knowingly be in a room with a cobra? Not many of us would. We would try to get as far away from that snake as possible. It is the same way with dealing with a Narc. They act very innocently until they get the opportunity to spit in your eye. Narcs will wear you down emotionally if you let them. They drain you with their poison by making you doubt yourself, degrading, devaluing, verbally abusing you and they do it in plain sight. Of course, they act as a chameleon to the rest of the world, but behind the scenes, you see the real reptile that they are. The sad thing about it is that they will not seek to change or get help to change. As long as they can appear normal, they will keep the act going, but it will often be at your expense. 
            So how do you guard yourself against the Narc? Come to terms with the truth about who they are and do not allow anyone to tell you otherwise. Narcissists do NOT care about you. They are self-seeking individuals who are good at pretense, but in reality, they do not give a hoot about you. Many people who had parents that were narcissists find it hard to believe that a parent can birth a child into the world and not care for them. But let’s put it this way—any animal can give birth, but it does not make them a good parent. Dogs have been known to give birth and devour their young immediately afterward. Therefore, if you had a parent who was a narcissist, that means that even though they gave birth to you, they devoured you emotionally, verbally, psychologically, and maybe in other areas that you have not come to terms with and/or be aware of.  Giving birth does not make you a parent – providing emotional stability and other needs do. This is why adoptive parents are so important in today’s society because many birthers do not make always good parents.
            Narcissists love to make you feel bad about yourself. The worse you feel, the better they do. This is their Kryptonite for you – undermining your self-confidence. They do it so covertly that once you finally recognize it, they will make you think that you are crazy for even exposing them for it. This is called – gaslighting. One thing that victims of narcissists must remember is that abuse does not have to be obviously seen, but it still carries the same amount of weight when you are the one feeling and seeing it. I look forward to talking to you once again so that you can heal from narcissistic abuse and finally say, “Narc Abuse No More.”
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Monday, May 21, 2018

Hermeneutics and the Interpreter's Role

Hermeneutics and the Interpreter's Role
Dr. Leo Percer gave a brief definition of Hermeneutics in his presentation as being the art and science of interpreting scripture.[1] Klein and all describes Hermeneutics as the practice of explaining the meaning of scripture.[2] The Apostle Paul spoke of the importance of Hermeneutics in his second letter to Timothy. “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15).[3] Due to the Bible being the manual and GPS for our lives as Christians, it is important that we understand what we are reading correctly so that we can align our lives in accordance to the will of the Father. The reader’s role in Hermeneutics is ensure proper understanding of the scripture in such a way that we would be relay the gospel of truth to those who are lost and to discern false teachings that may derive from others who may distort passages in the Bible to support, endorse and promote falsehoods.
The Bible tells us that the Bereans were faithful students of the Word of God and when Paul preached the gospel to them, they did not just take what he said as the truth merely because he was an apostle. They searched the scriptures for themselves to ensure that what he was teaching lined up with what the Word actually said and by doing so, they were able to ensure that his interpretation of the scripture was used in the proper context. The Bible says, “Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true” (Acts 17:11).[4] The Bereans were considered to be more honorable because of their lack of laziness regarding their own self-study of the Word of God. It is important for Christians to be self-feeders, so that they will be fed a balanced meal on the Word of God, which is done through prayer, proper study, and application. “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee” (Psalm 119:11).[5] We can only hide God’s word in our hearts if we have read and correctly understood it.
In many of today’s churches, pastors are using scriptures for personal, financial and even political gain. Many Christians do not read the Word of God for themselves and therefore, they are fooled into believing whatever the pastor says. For other Christians, they truly do not have an understanding of the Word. Some Christians may have a reading comprehension problem which extends to anything they read, and others may find certain books and passages such are Daniel, Ezekiel and Revelation to be too challenging to understand due to their containing numerous symbolisms. This is why those who preach and teach must take the time to ensure that they understand the Word correctly so that when they teach others, they will give them the absolute truth as to God’s infallible word. Those who read and interpret scripture can do much harm if they do not fully have the correct meaning and understanding of the scripture themselves for they may be in danger of living contrary to the will of God and will teach others to do so. The Evangelist Philip was sent by the Holy Spirit to the Ethiopian eunuch so that he could explain the scroll of Isaiah to him. “So Philip ran to him and heard him reading Isaiah the prophet and asked, “Do you understand what you are reading?” And he said, “How can I, unless someone guides me?” And he invited Philip to come up and sit with him” (Acts 8:30-31).[6] The Ethiopian eunuch was then able to take the message to others after it had been explained to him for even though he was reading the scroll, he did not comprehend who the author, Isaiah, had been referring to in his writings. This is why Hermeneutics is so important because proper understanding of the Word allows us to share with others the gospel of Jesus Christ in truth, wisdom and love.

[1] Leo Percer, "Introduction to Hermeneutics," Liberty University Blackboard, 2012,
[2] William W. Klein, Robert L. Hubbard, and Craig L. Blomberg, Introduction to Biblical Interpretation (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2017), 39.
[3] Tim. 2:15 (New International Version).
[4] Acts 17:11 (New International Version).
[5] Ps. 119:11 (King James Version).
[6] Acts 8:30-31 (English Standard Version).