Narcissists Are to Their Victims as Kryptonite is to Superman

Narcissists Are to Their Victims as Kryptonite is to Superman

Psalm 82:2-4 How long will you defend the unjust and show partiality to the wicked?

Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.

Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked. (NIV)

            You may have found yourself sinking deeper and deeper into a despair not understanding why you had feelings of inadequacy. The emotional drainage was weighing down on you whenever you would be around a particular individual. This person could have been a parent, sibling, friend, boss, co-worker, or someone you were in a relationship with. Nothing that you did was acceptable and they were able to find fault in everything you did. The expectations placed on you were impossible to measure up to and even if you did, the bar would go higher once you made the mistake of thinking that you had achieved them. You were put down for not being all that you could be in “their” eyes and yet, you did not see them accomplishing the same demands that they placed on you. This did not stop you from trying to appease them, but the more you tried the worse you felt and they seemed to squeeze the life from your very being until one day, you woke up once you began to be educated as to what you were dealing with and finally made the choice to say, “No more!”

            In the numerous Superman movies that have been made in Hollywood over the years, the one thing that was the ultimate weakness to the fictional hero was Kryptonite. Any time Superman was in the presence of Kryptonite, it would weaken him to a state of having just the strength of an ordinary man so much so that it could eventually kill him. This Kryptonite was very valuable to his enemies such as Lex Luther because it was the only way that he could have control over Superman. Lex knew that he was no match going toe to toe with Superman, but if he could get his hands on Kryptonite, he could bring Superman down to his knees. Narcissists are the same way with their victims. They like to find your weaknesses and use them against you. This is why it is important for you to remember that you never tell the narcissist anything that they can use against you.

            Narcs will sliver up to you as if they are the most caring individuals, but as soon as you let your guard down, they will bite you on impulse. Why is that? It is in their nature because they are mentally unstable individuals who seek to do harm to others. Would you knowingly be in a room with a cobra? Not many of us would. We would try to get as far away from that snake as possible. It is the same way with dealing with a Narc. They act very innocently until they get the opportunity to spit in your eye. Narcs will wear you down emotionally if you let them. They drain you with their poison by making you doubt yourself, degrading, devaluing, verbally abusing you and they do it in plain sight. Of course, they act as a chameleon to the rest of the world, but behind the scenes, you see the real reptile that they are. The sad thing about it is that they will not seek to change or get help to change. As long as they can appear normal, they will keep the act going, but it will often be at your expense. 

            So how do you guard yourself against the Narc? Come to terms with the truth about who they are and do not allow anyone to tell you otherwise. Narcissists do NOT care about you. They are self-seeking individuals who are good at pretense, but in reality, they do not give a hoot about you. Many people who had parents that were narcissists find it hard to believe that a parent can birth a child into the world and not care for them. But let’s put it this way—any animal can give birth, but it does not make them a good parent. Dogs have been known to give birth and devour their young immediately afterward. Therefore, if you had a parent who was a narcissist, that means that even though they gave birth to you, they devoured you emotionally, verbally, psychologically, and maybe in other areas that you have not come to terms with and/or be aware of.  Giving birth does not make you a parent – providing emotional stability and other needs do. This is why adoptive parents are so important in today’s society because many birthers do not make always good parents.

            Narcissists love to make you feel bad about yourself. The worse you feel, the better they do. This is their Kryptonite for you – undermining your self-confidence. They do it so covertly that once you finally recognize it, they will make you think that you are crazy for even exposing them for it. This is called – gaslighting. One thing that victims of narcissists must remember is that abuse does not have to be obviously seen, but it still carries the same amount of weight when you are the one feeling and seeing it. I look forward to talking to you once again so that you can heal from narcissistic abuse and finally say, “Narc Abuse No More.”

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