Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Psalms 11:5 The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked and those who love violence his soul hates.

1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

 

The Victims

·        Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States, more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.

·        Three to four million women in the United States are beaten in their homes each year by their husbands, ex-husbands, or male lovers.

·        One woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds in the United States. One in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime.

• Women experience more than 4 million physical assaults and rapes because of their partners, and men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults.
• Women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner than men.
• Women ages 20 to 24 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.
• Every year, 1 in 3 women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her current or former partner.

The Innocent Victims (CHILDREN)

·        Every year, more than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes.

·        Children who live in homes where there is domestic violence also suffer abuse or neglect at high rates (30% to 60%).

·        A 2005 Michigan study found that children exposed to domestic violence at home are more likely to have health problems, including becoming sick more often, having frequent headaches or stomachaches, and being more tired and lethargic.

·        A 2003 study found that children are more likely to intervene when they witness severe violence against a parent – which can place a child at great risk for injury or even death.

The above statistics are ALARMING!!! Something must be done!!! Many people seek to find love because that need is a natural part of life. Most people want to find someone who is loving, caring, empathetic to their needs, romantic, fun and the list goes on. However, what happens when the person whom you have chosen turns out to be a nightmare? What happens when what started out to be a relationship of promise turns into what seems to be a prison sentence? What do you do? Where do you go? Who can you turn to and how can you find the answers that you need?

            There is help! No one has to go through abuse alone and feel that they are stuck in a situation without any sense of hope. However, let’s start off with knowing what the word “abuse” is. Many people do not truly know how to define this word and therefore, they bypass the early warning signs of it. There are many signs that people can recognize as red flags. If someone sees these signs in an individual, the best thing to do is to get out of that relationship as quickly as possible. Do not allow time for it to fester into something that will eventually get more out of control.

ABUSE

            What is abuse? Abuse is defined as, “A repetitive pattern of behaviors to maintain power and control over an intimate partner. These are behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want. Abuse includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation. Many of these different forms of abuse can be going on at any one time.” (National Domestic Abuse Hotline 2011).

ABUSE CATAGORIES

·        Physical – This is anything that is used to cause pain or harm such as shoving, biting, smacking, pinching, and/or pulling of hair and other body parts. The use of weapons, attempting to force a partner to take alcohol and/or drugs and denying medical care is included in this type of abuse.

·        Emotional – This is any behavior that causes emotional pain such as: constant criticism, name-calling, cheating, trying to damage partner’s character with children, and constantly criticizing a partner’s capabilities.

·        Sexual – Being forceful or attempting to force a partner into having sex against their will even if married.

·        Economic – Attempting to limit a partner’s financial independence, not allowing access to funds, preventing a partner from getting an education or job.

·        Psychological – Causing a partner to feel intimidated and threatening to do harm to self and/or others. Destroying partner’s property, cruelty to pets, and isolating partner from family and friends.

 

WARNING SIGNS

Common signs of an abusive relationship are if one or both partners:

·        Prevents contact and communication with friends and family.

·        Controls money and important identification, such as driver’s licenses and passports.

·        Causes embarrassment with bad names and put-downs.

·        Critical about partner’s appearance and/or behavior.

·        Attempts to control what partner wears.

·        Has unrealistic expectations, like partner being available at all times.

·        Threatens to take away or hurt the children.

·        Acts like abuse is not a big deal, or denies it is happening.

·        Plays mind games to place blame on the survivor.

·        Destroys property or threatens to kill pets.

·        Intimidates with guns, knives or other weapons.

·        Shoves, slaps, chokes, hits or forces sexual acts.

·        Threatens to commit suicide

Women and men need to know that there are numerous resources out there for them to get the help that they need to end domestic violence. I am trying to shed light on this topic so that awareness is made. There need to be tougher laws when it comes to punishing criminals accused of this type of behavior. In the meantime, shedding light on this and bringing those guilty to justice is a step in the right foundation. I pray that this will help inspire women to leave about abusive relationships and to get the help that they need for the sake of themselves and the children that may be involved. Many abusers tend to be violent when they feel that they have the upper hand hoping that no one will listen to the voices of their victims. This is why awareness is so important and to let others who may not be in the situation to help those who are. Once what is done in silence is brought to the light, it can and will hopefully discourage others from possibly going down this path. We want to detour this type of behavior from even starting, but in order to do so, we must get the individuals help who are going through it and also get help for those who are the abusers as well.

 

Biblically speaking, are wives to support and stay with their husbands? Absolutely! HOWEVER, if that husband is ABUSING you in ANY WAY…GET OUT!!! He is not obeying the laws of God and therefore, you are under NO OBLIGATION to get your head bashed in. Do not let ANYONE tell you that you have to stay in a marriage or relationship where the other spouse/partner is being abusive and therefore, not honoring the obligations of a husband according to God. Do not listen to his/her promises that change is coming. Let him/her take that up with Jesus AFTER you have thrown him/her in JAIL. That’s right! Throw their behinds in a cell. PRESS CHARGES!!! MAKE THEM STICK and DO NOT DROP the CASE. If he/she does it once, it will happen again. You can take that to the BANK!!!

 

            Most of all, children that are involved is being affected by this. Even if you do not do it for yourself, do it for your children. The statistics show that this affects children in numerous ways. Do not let your child be a victim because you don’t want to stir the pot. STIR IT UP AND THROW IT OUT!!! Do it NOW! GET OUT! You and/or your children may be the next homicide on TV. Is he/she really worth possibly losing your life over? Oh, don’t say it can’t happen. It happens every day because many chose to stay in unhealthy situations. GET HELP TODAY!!!

 

Organizations for HELP

 

Women’s Resource Center to End Domestic Violence is an organization that seeks to help women in abusive situations. Their mission is, “To create a society in which domestic violence no longer exists. We strive to meet the immediate needs of the diverse community of battered women and their children by providing emergency shelter and services, while working toward changing the systems that enable violence through education and advocacy. The foundation of The Women's Resource Center to End Domestic Violence is the empowerment of all women.” 24-hour hotline – 404-688-9436

 

The National Domestic Abuse Hotline -  Operating around the clock, seven days a week, confidential and free of cost, NDVH provides lifesaving tools and immediate support to enable victims to find safety and live lives free of abuse. Callers to the  hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) can expect highly trained experienced advocates to offer compassionate support, crisis intervention information and referral services in over 170 languages.  Visitors to this site can find information about domestic violence, safety planning, local resources and ways to support the organization.1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

 

The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline - 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) is dedicated to the prevention of child abuse. Serving the United States, its territories, and Canada, the Hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with professional crisis counselors who, through interpreters, can provide assistance in 170 languages. The Hotline offers crisis intervention, information, literature, and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources. All calls are anonymous and confidential.      

 

There are numerous resources out there to help you. PLEASE GET HELP TODAY!!!