Step 9: I wil make amends to those I have harmed during my act of unforgiveness.

STEP 9

I will make amends to those I have harmed during my act of unforgiveness.

Proverbs 14:9 Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright. (NIV)

                   David had been on the run from King Saul who conspired to kill him. He had been anointed by the Prophet Samuel as God’s choice to be the next king of Israel. King Saul, who was the first king of Israel, had been made aware of this and his jealousy burned within him. The Spirit of the Lord had left King Saul, only to be replaced with demonic seeds of anger, bitterness, and hatred which filled his heart. 1 Samuel 19:1-2 Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill David. But Jonathan was very fond of David and warned him, “My father Saul is looking for a chance to kill you. Be on your guard tomorrow morning; go into hiding and stay.” (NIV)

                  While David was in hiding from King Saul, he went to the Desert of Maon. He had an army of men who were with him. While there, he came across some shepherds who were tending their flock. David and his men protected the shepherds whose master was named Nabal. He was a very wealthy man with plenty of sheep and cattle. Nabal also had a beautiful and intelligent wife named Abigail. Unfortunately, Nabal, whose name means fool, was true to his name. He was a mean man and did not deal with others fairly. 1 Samuel 25:3 His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband a Calebite, was surly and mean in his dealings. (NIV)

   

         David, not knowing the type of man that Nabal was, sent his men to speak to Nabal to see if he would be kind and gracious enough to show them favor, and give them whatever he could spare. But once the men arrived and gave Nabal the message, he was ungrateful towards David and his men. He did not care what David had done and therefore, sent the men away empty-handed. 1 Samuel 25:10-11 Nabal answered David’s servants, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered  for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?” (NIV)

                  When David’s men told him of Nabal’s response, he was angry. He gathered four hundred of his men to prepare an attack against Nabal and his household. However, Nabal’s servants told his wife, Abigail, what had taken place. She immediately gathered food together to take to David and his men. 1 Samuel 25:18-19 Abigail lost no time. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. Then she told her servants, “Go on ahead; I’ll follow you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal. (NIV) Abigail may have heard stories about David and his men, so she knew that time was of the essence to thwart destruction that would come to her home.

     Abigail felt it necessary to make amends for the foolish ways of her husband. In her attempt to make amends, she sought the forgiveness of David and his men. 1 Samuel 25:28  Please forgive your servant’s offense, for the Lord will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because he fights the Lord’s battles. Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you live. (NIV) Abigail knew that her husband was wrong in the way that he treated David and his men. She did not want punishment to come upon her household for the sins of her husband. She took responsibility for his actions even though she was not guilty of anything and tried to make amends by ensuring that there was plenty of food to eat for both David and his men.

          David could have held a grudge and continued down his path of planned revenge. After all, he rightfully had reason to be offended by the actions of Nabal. However, he recanted his decision, accepted her apology, and left the rest in God’s hands. Abigail’s willingness to make amends on behalf of her husband saved the lives of those in her household. 1 Samuel 25:32-35 ⁽³²⁾David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. ⁽³³⁾May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. ⁽³⁴⁾Otherwise, as surely as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.” ⁽³⁵⁾Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request.” (NIV)

                  When you have a spirit of unforgiveness, you sometimes may have harmed someone along the way. As in the case of David, he was about to kill a lot of men because of the offense of one. However, Abigail did what Jehovah El Nose calls for us all to do and that is to make amends when an offense has been done. Abigail could have said that she was sorry and went along her merry way. Nevertheless, she knew that making atonement for the wrong that was done would be better than just a mere apology. It helps to seal the deal in acknowledging that an offense was done, and that the offender is truly remorseful for the deed that caused harm.