Gold Diggers vs. Goal Builders

1 Timothy 6:10 for the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. (NKJV)

A few years ago, musical artists Kanye West and Jamie Foxx made a song titled, “Gold Digger.” The lyrics go like this:

She takes my money when I’m in need

Yeah she’s a trifling friend indeed

Oh she’s a gold digger way over town

That digs on me.

          What is a Gold Digger? According to Google, a gold digger is a person who dates others purely to extract money from them, in particular a woman who strives to marry a wealthy man. There have been numerous women who have married much older men and have been accused of marrying them only for the sake of obtaining financial security. Although, this may be true, little is often said about the man who proposed to her. The women are often looked down on and scrutinized by the public because of their wealthy boyfriends and/or husbands. However, when it is in reverse, the woman is looked at as a cougar and the male (even though classified as a gigolo) is often not criticized. 

          Now many women may feel that there is nothing wrong with using the assets that God gave them to secure their future even if that means marrying a much older man. It may make one wonder if there is anything wrong with it in God’s eyes. Should women not seek security from a man or ensure that a man has his things in order prior to beginning a relationship with him? Is what many call being a “Gold Digger” nothing more than just ensuring that a life of poverty is a distant past? Could it be that society has changed in such a way where the expectations of a female being independent has changed with regards to traditional roles and therefore, the man is no longer expected to be a provider for the household? Let’s take a look from the Bible’s perspective. 

         

Genesis 2:15 Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it. (NKJV) When we read the story of creation, we find that God had a work for man to do PRIOR to giving him a wife. Adam had to tend to the garden and name all the creatures that God had created. He did not give him the wife first, but God made sure that Adam had a JOB first. I view this to say that God intended for men to have themselves secure prior to finding a wife. That means if a man didn’t work and wasn’t able to support his family, he did not need to look for a wife until his affairs were in order. 

          Now some men may think that women need to have jobs as well prior to becoming involved with them. This is why many women get the title “Gold Diggers” because their ambition may have only been to find a rich man and settle down. Okay, well let’s address this. Is there anything wrong with a woman working? Absolutely not! As a matter of fact, this is how Ruth met Boaz in the Bible. Ruth 2:2 So Ruth the Moabitess said to Naomi, “Please let me go to the field, and glean heads of grain after him in whose sight I may find favor.” And she said to her, “Go, my daughter.” (NKJV) Ruth 2:6-8 So the servant who was in charge of the reapers answered and said, “It is the young Moabite woman who came back with Naomi from the country of Moab. And she said, ‘Please let me glean and gather after the reapers among the sheaves.’ So she came and has continued from morning until now, though she rested a little in the house.” Then Boaz said to Ruth, “You will listen, my daughter, will you not? Do not go to glean in another field which they reap, and go after them. Have I not commanded the young men not to touch you? And when you are thirsty, go to the vessels and drink from what the young men have drawn.” (NKJV) Ruth went to work when she left her land and followed Naomi. In the process of working was when she met her future husband. She did not wait for a man to take care of her and Naomi. She took the initiative to go to work so that she could support the two of them. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with women working prior to getting the mate God has for them.

        

          Now, some men feel that they should receive certain services from women, while not being required to spend any money. Let me just say this, Women need to keep the "store" closed until there is a ring on it and a marriage license. Therefore, you will not feel that your services are not being appreciated through means of green. Second, Men, stop expecting freebies and keep your zippers closed if you don't want to give monetary gifts. If you don't want to pay when you "exit" the "store" then you need not "enter" it. Some women feel that men should "pay-as-they-go." Therefore, MEN, don't apply for credit if you're filing for bankruptcy. 

  

          The problem in today’s time is that people want to have the benefits of a relationship without putting the work into it. They want to live good, dress nice, and have the trophy on their arms just because of outside beauty. However, there is nothing wrong with wanting someone who has the same goals and aspirations as you such as college educated, good job or entrepreneur, nice transportation, and home. The problem lies with being materialistic and not goal oriented. Materials come and go, but goals obtained can last and be the foundation of a great relationship. If your goal is only to benefit off of the success of someone else, then you are a Gold Digger. However, if you wish to add to someone’s success based on what you can contribute to that relationship, spiritually, financially, and emotionally—just to name a few, then you are a Goal Builder. When choosing someone as a lifelong partner, first consult God, then allow Him to lead you in the selection process. God will give you the person with the right Goals to help you add or build on to the Gold.