Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Psalms 11:5 The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked and those who love violence his soul hates.

1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

 

The Victims

·        Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States, more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.

·        Three to four million women in the United States are beaten in their homes each year by their husbands, ex-husbands, or male lovers.

·        One woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds in the United States. One in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime.

• Women experience more than 4 million physical assaults and rapes because of their partners, and men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults.
• Women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner than men.
• Women ages 20 to 24 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.
• Every year, 1 in 3 women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her current or former partner.

The Innocent Victims (CHILDREN)

·        Every year, more than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes.

·        Children who live in homes where there is domestic violence also suffer abuse or neglect at high rates (30% to 60%).

·        A 2005 Michigan study found that children exposed to domestic violence at home are more likely to have health problems, including becoming sick more often, having frequent headaches or stomachaches, and being more tired and lethargic.

·        A 2003 study found that children are more likely to intervene when they witness severe violence against a parent – which can place a child at great risk for injury or even death.

The above statistics are ALARMING!!! Something must be done!!! Many people seek to find love because that need is a natural part of life. Most people want to find someone who is loving, caring, empathetic to their needs, romantic, fun and the list goes on. However, what happens when the person whom you have chosen turns out to be a nightmare? What happens when what started out to be a relationship of promise turns into what seems to be a prison sentence? What do you do? Where do you go? Who can you turn to and how can you find the answers that you need?

            There is help! No one has to go through abuse alone and feel that they are stuck in a situation without any sense of hope. However, let’s start off with knowing what the word “abuse” is. Many people do not truly know how to define this word and therefore, they bypass the early warning signs of it. There are many signs that people can recognize as red flags. If someone sees these signs in an individual, the best thing to do is to get out of that relationship as quickly as possible. Do not allow time for it to fester into something that will eventually get more out of control.

ABUSE

            What is abuse? Abuse is defined as, “A repetitive pattern of behaviors to maintain power and control over an intimate partner. These are behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want. Abuse includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation. Many of these different forms of abuse can be going on at any one time.” (National Domestic Abuse Hotline 2011).

ABUSE CATAGORIES

·        Physical – This is anything that is used to cause pain or harm such as shoving, biting, smacking, pinching, and/or pulling of hair and other body parts. The use of weapons, attempting to force a partner to take alcohol and/or drugs and denying medical care is included in this type of abuse.

·        Emotional – This is any behavior that causes emotional pain such as: constant criticism, name-calling, cheating, trying to damage partner’s character with children, and constantly criticizing a partner’s capabilities.

·        Sexual – Being forceful or attempting to force a partner into having sex against their will even if married.

·        Economic – Attempting to limit a partner’s financial independence, not allowing access to funds, preventing a partner from getting an education or job.

·        Psychological – Causing a partner to feel intimidated and threatening to do harm to self and/or others. Destroying partner’s property, cruelty to pets, and isolating partner from family and friends.

 

WARNING SIGNS

Common signs of an abusive relationship are if one or both partners:

·        Prevents contact and communication with friends and family.

·        Controls money and important identification, such as driver’s licenses and passports.

·        Causes embarrassment with bad names and put-downs.

·        Critical about partner’s appearance and/or behavior.

·        Attempts to control what partner wears.

·        Has unrealistic expectations, like partner being available at all times.

·        Threatens to take away or hurt the children.

·        Acts like abuse is not a big deal, or denies it is happening.

·        Plays mind games to place blame on the survivor.

·        Destroys property or threatens to kill pets.

·        Intimidates with guns, knives or other weapons.

·        Shoves, slaps, chokes, hits or forces sexual acts.

·        Threatens to commit suicide

Women and men need to know that there are numerous resources out there for them to get the help that they need to end domestic violence. I am trying to shed light on this topic so that awareness is made. There need to be tougher laws when it comes to punishing criminals accused of this type of behavior. In the meantime, shedding light on this and bringing those guilty to justice is a step in the right foundation. I pray that this will help inspire women to leave about abusive relationships and to get the help that they need for the sake of themselves and the children that may be involved. Many abusers tend to be violent when they feel that they have the upper hand hoping that no one will listen to the voices of their victims. This is why awareness is so important and to let others who may not be in the situation to help those who are. Once what is done in silence is brought to the light, it can and will hopefully discourage others from possibly going down this path. We want to detour this type of behavior from even starting, but in order to do so, we must get the individuals help who are going through it and also get help for those who are the abusers as well.

 

Biblically speaking, are wives to support and stay with their husbands? Absolutely! HOWEVER, if that husband is ABUSING you in ANY WAY…GET OUT!!! He is not obeying the laws of God and therefore, you are under NO OBLIGATION to get your head bashed in. Do not let ANYONE tell you that you have to stay in a marriage or relationship where the other spouse/partner is being abusive and therefore, not honoring the obligations of a husband according to God. Do not listen to his/her promises that change is coming. Let him/her take that up with Jesus AFTER you have thrown him/her in JAIL. That’s right! Throw their behinds in a cell. PRESS CHARGES!!! MAKE THEM STICK and DO NOT DROP the CASE. If he/she does it once, it will happen again. You can take that to the BANK!!!

 

            Most of all, children that are involved is being affected by this. Even if you do not do it for yourself, do it for your children. The statistics show that this affects children in numerous ways. Do not let your child be a victim because you don’t want to stir the pot. STIR IT UP AND THROW IT OUT!!! Do it NOW! GET OUT! You and/or your children may be the next homicide on TV. Is he/she really worth possibly losing your life over? Oh, don’t say it can’t happen. It happens every day because many chose to stay in unhealthy situations. GET HELP TODAY!!!

 

Organizations for HELP

 

Women’s Resource Center to End Domestic Violence is an organization that seeks to help women in abusive situations. Their mission is, “To create a society in which domestic violence no longer exists. We strive to meet the immediate needs of the diverse community of battered women and their children by providing emergency shelter and services, while working toward changing the systems that enable violence through education and advocacy. The foundation of The Women's Resource Center to End Domestic Violence is the empowerment of all women.” 24-hour hotline – 404-688-9436

 

The National Domestic Abuse Hotline -  Operating around the clock, seven days a week, confidential and free of cost, NDVH provides lifesaving tools and immediate support to enable victims to find safety and live lives free of abuse. Callers to the  hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) can expect highly trained experienced advocates to offer compassionate support, crisis intervention information and referral services in over 170 languages.  Visitors to this site can find information about domestic violence, safety planning, local resources and ways to support the organization.1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

 

The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline - 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) is dedicated to the prevention of child abuse. Serving the United States, its territories, and Canada, the Hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with professional crisis counselors who, through interpreters, can provide assistance in 170 languages. The Hotline offers crisis intervention, information, literature, and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources. All calls are anonymous and confidential.      

 

There are numerous resources out there to help you. PLEASE GET HELP TODAY!!!

New Hot Topics April 7.

Greetings Fellow Readers!

I enjoy doing daily blogs for you and enjoying your responses. I will be coming back with Fresh Hot Topics on April 7, 2014. May God bless you till next time.

Should Christian Women and Men Dress Sexy?

1 Timothy 2:9-10 I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. (NIV)


          When I was a child, I grew up in a religion that taught that the wearing of cosmetics and jewelry was wrong. You wouldn't even think of wearing pants to church other than for choir practice. Even then, that was crossing a fine line. I can recall giving the older ladies in the church plenty to talk about when I came through the door. As a young 20 something year-old woman, I enjoyed my above knee fashions. I can still recall the older ladies having their say as to what I had on. The more they talked, the more determined I was to give them a more intense topic for the following week. Don't even mention jewelry. The more sermons the pastor preached against it, the larger my hoops became. Yes, I was rebellious, but it was more to it than that.

          I looked as these critics as no more than mere hypocrites. The same ones who would look at me with scorn because of my jewelry, would be the same ones with diamond watches, expensive broaches, adorned hair, and top of the line cuff links and necktie chains. Wouldn't this still be classified as jewelry? Let's not even mention cosmetics. It was the ultimate sin to wear red lipstick, but as long as you were brown and wore brown, it was ok. So my question was, "Is Jesus at Heaven's gate with a red lipstick line that goes to hell and a brown lipstick line that goes to heaven? Really?
         
          Then there was this thing about pants. Women were not supposed to wear pants in church.
What male chauvinist came up with that? Ok, there is the scriptu in the Bible that tells women to not wear men's clothing. The last time I checked, males and females wore robes in Jesus' day. Therefore, pants wasn't even invented. Now, if you are a woman who is trying to pass as a man, or a man who cross dresses...that scripture may apply to you. Many people have expressed concern with regards to Tyler Perry's potrayal of the "Madea" character in relation to this text. However, he is portraying a role. When he comes out of character, he looks and acts all male. Despite that, some do not agree that he should do it at all. All I can say is that God must be the One who blessed him, although others may find that debatable and say the devil blesses too. Only God knows....

          Now what about males and females who like to dress sexy? Is there something wrong with wanting to keep and maintain your sex appeal even if you are a Christian? Does being a Christian mean that you must wear moomoos and an 1880's Puritan attire? Should men wear baggy shirts and pants to keep wondering eyes from wondering and women wear long and lose dresses for the sake of covering curves and skin? Where do you draw the line and what can be considered as overkill?

          Just recently, a gospel artist made a lot of waves due to an outfit that she wore on her cd cover. Some thought that it was unbecoming of a gospel artist, while others thought that it was okay. I believe that the most important question when dressing is, "What is your intention?" Are you trying to promote sex, lure someone out of lust, or attract attention. Maybe you are just wanting to feel your best with no strings attached and it is just an outfit you feel good in. I cannot comment as to that particular gospel artist's intentions, but maybe this will help. Whenever you are dressing, is what you have on in good taste as a representative of Christ? Would you be proud of your attire if the King of kings walked into your space in the flesh? Is your way of dress leaving something to the imagination? Does what you wear attract lust more than a love for God? Does what you have on leave more room for questions than answers when it comes to your Christian walk? There is not a certain attire that will have you hellbound, but your intentions do make the difference. When in doubt, ask God. If He is good with it, then so can you. However, if you are in question, maybe that outfit should stay on the hanger. Take care and God bless!

Can you Recognize God's Voice?

1 Samuel 3:10 The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.” (NIV)

            Hannah, Samuel’s mother had prayed for a child. She had gone many years being troubled with the fact that she could not conceive. Not only was she down on herself about it, but she was teased by her husband other wife. When she felt as if there was nothing else to do, she went to the Lord in prayer. God heard Hannah’s request and gave her a baby boy shortly after. She dedicated Samuel to the Lord and not only did she have Samuel, but God blessed her to have other children as well. She asked…God heard and responded.

            There are many times in life when we are waiting to hear a word from God. We can go to God in prayer and make our petitions known. Jesus said in

Mathew 7:7-8, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” (NIV) God has given us the right to ask anything of Him and it shall be done. However, there is something that we must do. We must ask in faith and pray that His will be done. Everything that we do must be in accordance to His will and not ours. We must also be able to be in tune with God’s voice. How can we know the voice of God?

            There was a time when I didn’t believe that God actually spoke to people. I would hear some people say that God told them this and God told them that. However, I never truly believed that this was anything more than just in their head. However, God started to speak to me in my dreams. Not only did He use dreams to give me prophetic words of things to come, but He had others to prophecy into my life. As I would see these things unfold and turn out to be accurate, I became a believer. There have also been times when God has said something to me directly. It wasn’t in a voice as you or I would say something, but it was loud enough in my spirit and mind that I knew it was coming directly from Him. I don’t know how quite to explain it, but I do know that whenever I hear or feel it, I know it’s from the Lord.

            Just as Joseph was a dreamer and God spoke to him years before he ever became ruler of Egypt in his dreams, God does the same thing to us today.

 Acts 2:17 says, “ ‘In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.” (NIV)

God uses dreams and visions as ways to communicate with His people. Sometimes, you may not know right away what the dream or vision mean, but pray to God for interpretation and God will reveal it in due time. You can take an example of this from Daniel when he prayed to God to give him revelation concerning dreams that Nebuchadnezzar and other kings wanted interpretations for.

            God doesn’t just use dreams and visions, He also uses people to give you a word as well. Jonah 1:2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.”(NIV) Even though Jonah ran, he still had to do what God had told him to do and that was to preach to the people of Nineveh about their sinful ways. God will use others to relay messages to people concerning things and events. They are not always relayed by pastors, preachers, or teachers. God will use ordinary people to deliver a word if He finds it necessary.

            God also uses His word to give us instruction. Psalms 119:11 says, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”(NIV) God’s word gives us daily instruction if we use it, so that we will know what to do in the sight of God. It is to guide us into His perfect will. This is why it is important to have a daily study life in God’s word so that we can have the word of God impressed upon our hearts and minds. God inspired men to write the Bible as a way helping to guide us into His everlasting light.

            Sometimes, God talks to our inner conscious. When you do something wrong, and you get that feeling of guilt, that is God letting you know that what you did was wrong. Also, God puts things into our spirit as a means of communication. If your spirit is troubled about something, you may need to ask God’s advice prior to doing it. However, God will also bring about peace if it is in His perfect will. God wants us to be able to understand Him clearly and to know when it is He that is speaking.  John 10:27 “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” (NIV) That’s right! Jesus said that his sheep know his voice and a stranger, they will not follow. God will never allow you to be deceived. If God knows that we truly desire to recognize His voice, He is all so willing to make it a point to let us know. All we have to do is be silent, and wait for His response. God speaks in numerous ways, but we must be in tune with Him in order to know which way He speaks to us individually. Turn the noise down! Wait! Listen! Be silent! God will speak!

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Being a Christian in a Godless Society

2 Timothy 3:12 In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evildoers and imposters will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.

 

            In today’s society, there is an all-out war against those of the Christian faith. No, this isn’t a war of guns and body bags yet. However, the war is in the government, over the TV and radio, in the schools, churches, and homes. Christians are being attacked for what they believe and laws are being passed to increasingly take away religious freedoms. Oh, the excuse will be used to say that they are protecting the “rights” of all individuals, but this is not the case. There is an agenda, which is being led by none other than the devil himself. He is waging war against the saints of God and we must be sure that we are ready for his sneaky attacks.

            June 25, 1962 the Supreme Court ruled in Engel v. Vitale that prayer would no longer be acceptable in public schools. This ruling has shown to have had major consequences within the public school system in America. The decline in respect for authority has deteriorated; a rise in teenage pregnancies and unwed mothers, guns and violence on school grounds, and the decline in Godly morals has taken place.  Some may say that this has nothing to do with prayer being taken out of schools. However, I beg to differ. Whenever God is taken out of an institution, you can be sure that there will be a breakdown within that system. It happened in the days of old, and it is happening now.

            1973, the Supreme Court ruled in the case, “Roe v. Wade” that abortion would be legal in the United States. Since that date, 50 million babies are said to have been aborted. The statistics show that there are over 3,000 abortions performed daily within the United States. We are killing innocent children daily as often as cows are being slaughtered for dinner. The House did however vote so ban federal subsidies that would finance abortions under Obama Care. However, House Republicans say that this is not absolute due to the wording in the affordable care act and selective abortions may still be covered.

            2003, after Massachusetts became the first state to legalize marriage, it put a Catholic Adoption Agency out of business. Due to the agency receiving funds from the state, they were no longer able to keep same-sex couples from being able to adopt. Therefore, the agency closed its doors.

            2005, The Supreme Court outlawed the display of the 10 Commandments in 2 Kentucky Courthouses. However, a replica was allowed for display in Texas.

            2011, An article reported that a Christian Couple’s application to become a foster parent was denied by a judge because the couple could not tell a child that homosexuality was okay.

            September 4, 2013, CNN did a report about a Massachusetts family, who has a case, under review at the Judicial Supreme Court in regards to the Pledge of Allegiance. This family is arguing that the part, “one nation under God” needs to be abolished. They are trying to make the argument that it is an active case of discrimination. They feel that children in schools should not have to say this, even though there is an option to opt out. They feel that it would make room for the child to be ostracized because of it should his/her peers take notice that they are refusing to join in on the daily pledge. Okay, my question to that would be, “Isn’t this what the forefathers based their building of this country on if not in practice, but at least in theory?” If a person is so against the saying of “God” in this country, there are passports available to go somewhere else. I’m just saying….

             November 14, 2013, an article reports that a lawsuit has been brought against the United States Department of Veteran Affairs by 2 California military chaplains after they were allegedly forced out of a training program and alienated due to their religious beliefs. The Conservative Baptist Associations filed the lawsuit.

 

            December 7, 2013, an article reported that a Denver, Colorado couple, after being sued by a same-sex couple for refusal to make a wedding cake, must serve gay couples or face fines. So what this is saying, “We do not have rights in this country to refuse the outright breaking of God’s laws based on our religious beliefs.” Unfortunately, this is a message to all Christians; be careful what businesses you open up. You may be required to make a stand for sure against the government if they require you to break God’s commands. You can only imagine what’s coming next; gay couples will begin suing churches for refusing to marry them. Don’t think it’s crazy…I can see it in the making.

            December 27, 2013, an article was written on Liberty Institutes website about the Veterans Administration in Texas unlawfully screening Christmas Cards, which were hand-made by children, in an effort to censor religious content. The VA’s response was that they would only give cards to veterans who specifically wanted their own cards with the word “Christmas” on it. This was happening all across the country. Christianity is now being viewed in a hostile manner and is imposing on First Amendment rights under the law.

            What is happening in our country? These are just a few examples of how Christianity is under attack. We must stay prayerful and tell this news to others that our Lord and Savior is soon to come. We don’t know when, but we know that it is soon. The world is going to hell in a hand basket and we must be ready for His soon return. Jesus tells us to look for the signs which are all around us. We must be willing and ready to take a stand. If we can’t stand for Christ now, we definitely will not be able to stand for him later when persecution starts. It is definitely coming. We will have to leave our churches and host services in our homes once again, because all will despise us. Are you ready for Jesus’ return or are you so busy living life that you haven’t bothered to stop and really see what is taking place in our society? Think people! The devil is real and so is the “here after.” There are only two destinations. There are no stops in between. You are either with God or with the devil. Make your choice! I pray that you choose this day who you will serve. In Jesus name, amen!

 

           

Watered Down Gospel for the sake of FUNDS

Jeremiah 23: 1-4 "Woe to the shepherds who are destroying and scattering the sheep of my pasture! declares the Lord. Therefore this is what the Lord, the God of Israel Says to the shepherds who tend my people: "Because you have scattered my flock and driven them away and have not bestowed care on them, I will bestow punishment on you for the evil you have done," declareds the Lord. "I myself will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the countries where I have driven them and will bring them back to their pasture, where they will be fruitful and increase in number. I will place shepherds over them who will then them, and they will no longer be afraid or terrified, nor will any be missing," declares the Lord.

 

WARNING***WARNING***IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED…LEAVE THIS SITE!!! THIS IS FOR TRUTH SEEKERS NOT EAR PLEASERS!!!

 (There are many good pastors…this blog is not talking about them.)

 

            The world is changing as we know it speedily before our very eyes. Right is being called wrong and wrong is being called right. Laws within our governmental institution are slapping God in the face each and every day. The ban on the things of God is taking center stage. Christians are being attacked every day across the world for standing up for their beliefs. There is an attack on the children of God like never before and YET…many within the church is SLEEP. Why is it that so many in the church within the U.S. are snoozing while others across the country are dying for what they believe in? Could it be that the SHEPHERDS are not sounding the alarm as they should? Could it be that so many pastors are more concerned with fame, fortune, and popularity than they are with warning their sheep that the end is soon to come? Is it that they are afraid to call the world into repentance for fear that if they say the wrong thing some may leave? Could it be that they have compromised the gospel because of the money they receive for preaching a “feel good” message?

            These are all questions that one may ask when you look at the state that the world is in. On any given day, you can turn the television on and watch hundreds of preachers from across the world preaching what they call the “Gospel” of God. However, many of them are preaching a message of prosperity and riches more than repentance, deliverance, and the call to Salvation. Many desire to be partners with celebrities rather than winning them to Christ. Many preachers are preaching successful messages of opening pocketbooks more than they are of giving your life as a sacrifice to God. Their message has become that of feeling good, shouting, and having a good time rather than getting your life right with God, confessing your sins, and spreading the unadulterated truth about Jesus’ saving power. In order to not offend, they avoid certain books of the bible. In order to keep the money rolling in, they do not teach on sin, but rather "once saved, always saved," which is one of the biggest LIES told to the church today.  

2 Peter 2:21-22 says, “It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them. Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed returns to her wallowing in the mud.” (NIV) Therefore, if you once followed Jesus and then turned your back on Him, it would have been better if you never knew. Why did it say this in the Bible? To let us know that you don’t have a ticket punched in heaven just because you “used” to be a Christian. It is an ongoing and continuous process. You can’t once be a Christian and then decide to be a Satanist, but still consider yourself going to Heaven based on what you formerly did. It doesn’t work that way. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

            So why is it that many preachers do not preach on hell and end times, but they always talk about being caught up in the rapture? This is COWARD theology!!! There are people EVERY DAY dying for their religion in other countries. Why do the preachers in the U.S. think that WE will not experience persecution? They teach that we will immediately be sent off to Glory before anything will have a chance to come near us. However, does God have respect of persons? Absolutely not! The apostles were martyred, Christians were killed centuries ago, Christians are still being persecuted and killed now for practicing their religion in many Islamic controlled countries, but somehow, many of us in the U. S. think that we are going to be exempt from and will be caught up without going through anything. I think not! However, once again, many preachers are not teaching about the end of times and would rather focus on luxury churches, cathedral buildings, rock concerts, and the who’s who club of fine dining.

             The church is being run more like a business than a house of worship. Celebrities get front row seating, money is being taken up like you’re at an auction house, and the preacher, forget having access to him/her. They are now armed with bodyguards behind the fancy title of Armor Bearer. Yes! I went there! Now, this is not to say that pastors do not need assistance. However, if your Armor Bearer is there just to keep the average layperson or member in your congregation away from you, something is indeed wrong. You have gotten too high for your own good and have indeed forgot that your ministry is being a humble servant to the people. Some pastors are only good for preaching, but they do not have the heart of a servant. They are more for title and looks than humility and service.

            Why is it that you very seldom if at all hear a sermon coming from Revelation about Christ return and hell fire? Well, many seem to think that telling people that they will go to hell, if they do not turn their lives to Christ, will rub many the wrong way. Okay! Who cares if it saves their soul!!! Many preachers are going to split Hell WIDE OPEN because they failed to preach the truth. There are many preachers who are not teachers of the light, but are imps for the devil. They only preach what they think people want to hear. On top of that, they lead people to believe that to sound the alarm, and let others know about sin is considered as judging. However, we are held accountable when we do not sound the alarm. We are held accountable when we do not call sin by its name. We will be held accountable for those who go to hell because of our SILENCE and FEAR of what some consider as "JUDGING."

Proverbs 12:1 says, "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid. (NIV) So how can you help and teach someone if you don't tell them where they are erring at? Judging is when you are just pointing fingers to condemn and not help the individual. It is also when you are living a hypocritical life yourself while trying to straighten someone else's. ACCOUNTIBILITY  and SOUNDING THE ALARM is an effort to save SOULS. Call it what you may, but more pastors need to stop worrying about popularity and more about the sinners' salvation because their soul IS AT STAKE!!!! Stop faking and become the real minister of the gospel you were called to be.

2 Corinthians 11:13-15 for such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants also masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserved. (NIV) Yes, the devil has many preachers pretending to be used by God, but they are actually in league with the devil. See, Satan doesn’t mind you going to church if he knows that he has connections with the leader. Many are being deceived based upon being in a Mega COVERUP! Many church members think because they go to a well-known church that they are under the anointing of God, but oh be so ever careful. The road to hell is WIDE. Don’t let the size of the church, the name of the pastor, and the materials of the structure fool you. There will be Pastors corroding in the fires of hell.

            Many pastors are failing to teach people that their lifestyles are wrong. They are afraid to stir the pot. They do not speak out against sin. Not only do they not speak out against it, but they tolerate it! Now, this is not to say that you have to beat people upside the head with the Bible because you are to do everything in LOVE. However, it is the responsibility of the leader to help people to know where they are erring at and to help lead them to Christ. Unfortunately, if you are Star Struck, have a Mega agenda to become famous, and care more for keeping the money flow than the soul flow…there is a problem. People talk about the “Preachers of LA” tv show and yes, it is a disgrace. However, there are many preachers who aren’t any better than the ones who are on this show. The only difference is that they are doing it behind the scenes.

            What do I mean? Okay! Let’s break it down. The preachers of L A are showing off their wealth in front of a national audience, while many mega preachers are doing the same thing with their houses, private jets, fancy cars, expensive clothes, jewelry, etc. The only difference is one has made it to reality to TV and the other just call it CHURCH. The preachers of L A are showing their indiscretions with women and various relationships, while many mega preachers and priests have been found out as they tried to hide it from the public. The preachers of L A are openly showing you that they do not stand for what’s right, while many mega preachers become silent when asked direct questions from news commentators about what the Bible clearly says, such as their stance on homosexuality. The preachers of L A have come under attack for some of them “shacking up” with their romantic interest, while some of the other mega preachers are “shacking up” with Satan. The preachers of L A have come under attack with regards to open display of what many consider as “inappropriate touching” with their wives on tv, while many mega preachers are inappropriately giving too many “feel good” messages to keep “in touch” with wallets and pocketbooks. Shall I go on?

            Matthew 24:14, 24 says, “And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come. ⁽²⁴⁾ For false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect.” (NIV) God is waiting for the whole world to receive the message of the kingdom. However, Jesus said that false prophets will deceive many. You may ask, “How is it that they are going to be able to deceive many?” Well, if you think about it, you are quite aware of the obvious when it comes to looking like a fake. However, the devil knows who to use and how to use them to get his agenda accomplished. False prophets, often times are not those who we may be already suspicious of. It is the ones whom many feel are on their way to heaven by celebratory gospel, good tone tactics, ability to make you shout, and other things that has nothing to do with God. Be careful about the shepherd that you follow. It may be quite possible that your shepherd is on the Highway to Hell.

Living Single

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1 Corinthians 7:32-35 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interest are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin in concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

 

            SINGLE!!! For many singles, this word is like the plague. Many, upon reaching a certain age group, do not wish to have this title placed upon them. There is a certain “stigma” that goes along with this word for some when asked, “What is your relationship status.” It was once okay to celebrate if you were in your twenties and even early thirties. However, as the years begin to go by and the same question is asked, many people find themselves wanting to crawl into a cave—only to be rediscovered once their status change. The word for many is like a judge handing down a sentence. After which, you are labeled as a FELON for life. No sponging the record, no second chance, but everyone you know will associate you with that title--that label, the scarlet letter “S”.

            So why is it that many singles have a hard time “embracing” the fact that they are single? What is being single? Why does that word make many flee to the nearest exit when asked to join the singles’ ministry at church? Is there a way to be happily single? What do you do during the time that you are single until God sends you the right one? Is there a right way and a wrong way to wait? Let’s dig a little deeper to explore some answers to some of these questions.

            (SCENARIO) Mary, has been single for 13 years. She was married, but due to infidelity, she and her husband decided to divorce. Now, Mary is really in deep thought about what her life is going to be. She is 40 years old and there were no children from the previous marriage of 5 years. Because she has been single for such a long time, she has gotten tired of the “wait”. Therefore, Mary has decided to take matters into her own hands. She joined an online dating site, created her profile, and has been going out on dates with multiple men. She doesn’t know if this is the right thing for her to do, but what she does know is that she is tired of waiting for “Mr. Right” to come along. So she has decided to settle on “Mr. Right Now” until “The One” comes along. Is she right or is she wrong? This makes you go…hmmm.

            In today’s society, there seems to be an expectation to be “coupled” with someone. To say that you are “single” and are not in a dating relationship is foreign to many. From the celebrities to the person you encounter at your local grocery store, the word “single” carries with it various individualized meanings. So, what exactly does it mean to be single? If you type the word “single” in your Google search engine, this is what you will find the definition as:

Single- 1.) Only one and not of several;

             2.) Unmarried or not involved in a stable relationship.

 

There are other definitions that Google added, but these were the top 2.  I noticed that the second definition of being “unmarried OR not involved in a stable relationship was quite interesting. The second part of the definition seems to leave room open for if you are involved with someone, but have not yet married them.  This may be what Google means by “stable relationship”. However, some may beg to differ and say that even if you are dating, you are still “single”. I think that I would agree with this. Dating does not constitute marriage, but it may suggest that you are leaning in that direction. I would go a step forward and say that if you began dating someone and the two of you are now considering marriage, that you are actually in a courtship. I believe that there is a huge difference between dating and courting. Call me old-fashion, but some things actually worked well back in the day.

            You may ask, “What do I mean?” Okay, I will tell you. Dating to me is when you are not intentional just yet on having a serious relationship with someone. This is your go-to- the-movie, have a dinner, call it a night and go home. I may call you back in the morning. In dating, you are trying to see your common interests, dislikes, spiritual compatibility, family background, etc. Courting is when you have found someone that you are seriously considering as a future mate. You are beyond the realms of just casual dating, but know enough about this person at this point that you two are exclusive. Marriage is more than just a thought at this point, and you have grown closer as a couple to decide that this is your next step.  Dating is the start of this relationship, but Courting is leading the way to marriage. Some may disagree with this theology, but this is my take on it and what I use in my own personal life.

            So why do so many singles have a hard time embracing their singleness? Many people, especially women, are “expected” to get married, have children, and the white picket fence by the time they are a certain age. This may vary from society to society, but within the United States, there is this expectation. Yes, the media has said that you don’t have to be married, and you can have children being a single parent. However, because Christians are not supposed to follow the ungodly trends of the world, most of us do desire to do things God’s way. Unfortunately, because we are doing things God’s way, there may be fewer selections in the sea. What do I mean? If you are truly living for God, when the world says it’s okay to commit fornication, you are not yielding to it and therefore, many may find that some are not willing to hang around if you are not giving them the “goods”.

            Yes, there is this talk show host and author who suggest giving the relationship 90 days prior to giving it up. However, that is not what God says.

 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. These bodies are not ours to do what we want with them. They belong to God and because they do, we are not to misuse or abuse them by yielding to the sinful lust of the flesh. This is not always easy, but because we are the children of God and are representatives of Him, we are to carry ourselves as such. Therefore, if someone that you are dating is not able to wait until there is a marriage, you definitely will know that this person is not the one that God has for you.

            God wants us to live pure lives unto Him. We are to be a living sacrifice. We cannot be all that God wants if we are not willing to lay aside ungodly things. The reason that there are so many sexually transmitted diseases and some leading to physical death is because many have falling away from God’s order of things. Therefore, it has caused us not only to have a physical death, but a spiritual one. Two spirits cannot reside in one host. You will either have the Spirit of God or you will have the spirit of the enemy. This is why God said that He would rather that you be hot or cold. He does not like lukewarm. Revelation 3:16 says, “So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot not cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. (NIV) We have to make a conscious decision that we are going to live for God totally. We can’t be creeping with this one and that one if it is our true desire to live for God. Yes, many of us have messed up during our Christian walk. However, it is never too late to make the decision to do what is right as long as we are still breathing. Proverbs 24:16 says, “For the righteous fall seven times, they rise again…” (NIV) Get up! Even if you have messed up and make a commitment to God to start all over again.

            So why do so many singles flee to the nearest exit when the spotlight comes on them? Well, once again, due to what a large part of society considers as abnormal, many do not want to wear the “single” sign on their foreheads. Yes, it is obvious that you are single, but after a certain age, the questions and comments start to roll in like an avalanche of snow on Mount Everest. When are you going to settle down? Why don’t you have anyone? Why haven’t you gotten married? Do you have any children? What are you waiting on? You are not getting any younger. You better get busy before you be old and alone. Question after question and comment after comment seems to pass your way as you travel down “single” lane. I have friends who do not even want to go to family gatherings because they are tired of all the questions in regards to their singlehood. I can recall have my doctor at the age of 28 tell me that I may want to start thinking about my “family planning”. She went on to say that so many of her patients have come into her office at age 40 or more wanting to have children, only to be told that their chances are really slim after multiple tries. At age 28, I thought she was crazy for even saying that to me. At age 38…I see why. However, some people act like quality individuals are growing like grass after a good spring rain. WELL…quite on the contrary.

            How about singles’ ministries at church? “No, don’t get up and leave?” You can hear the singles’ leader disappointingly saying as many run out to the nearest exit and start their engines at the thought of being “labeled.” However, some just feel that they don’t belong to such groups because they have either been married and divorced, older in age, in a committed relationship, or just don’t want to be affiliated. Well, if you are in any of the previously mentioned categories, YOU ARE SINGLE. Unfortunately, even when you want to change your status from single to “committed,” you are still single until you say, “I Do.” Sorry, but it is what it is. Even on your IRS tax forms, there is not an option for committed relationships. You are either married or single. There is no in between. I will admit, I have been one of the ones to head towards the nearest exit at the mere mention of “single” anything at church. My reason was simple. I was older and did not wish to be affiliated with the singles ‘ministry because it would be a constant “REMINDER” of my failure, at my age, in obtaining a “Ring.” However, I have accepted my status and now…I WAIT.

            So what do you do while you are WAITING? I try to remain active with life and ask God to keep me grounded until He sends me who HE HAS for me. That’s right! I am no longer searching out of my own means. I believe that when you do things on your own, you leave plenty of room for the devil to sneak in and make you mess up. You really have to allow God to guide you in ALL areas of your life and this includes dating, courting and marriage. As you wait on God, allow Him to fill your life with the things of Him as He prepares you for that future spouse. Waiting does not mean that you are sitting around, twirling your thumbs and doing nothing. It means that you have handed it over to God and allowed Him to be the navigator of your life. The desire for relationship may not go away, but God will help you to be content until He sends you your mate.

            In the verse, at the beginning of this subject, it spoke of doing the things of God as a single person because once married, your interests are divided. Yes, that is true. As a single person, you have more time that you can devote towards the things of God than you would if you were married and with children. We can pray in quiet, we can serve God without family demands, and we can be light unto other singles who are struggling with their singleness. We can go on demand, we can work in ministry, and we can live a fulfilling life by being around those of like minds. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? This verse is mostly taken to mean marrying someone of different faiths, but there is more to it than that. If you are socializing with people who are not living a godly lifestyle and you are being tempted to go to the club, ungodly parties, and being around a crowd who will encourage you to live a sexually promiscuous lifestyle, you may need to demote some in your crew.

            God has made it clear how we are to live for Him. We are to live by example. We cannot be witnesses unto the world if we are not living the life ourselves. We would be viewed as nothing more than hypocrites. God is calling us to be a peculiar people. WE are not to be like the world around us. We are supposed to stand out and set the standard. We are to be trend setters and trend followers. Yes, we may be single. Yes, we may be “unpopular.” But yes, I stand as a PROUD SINGLE FOR GOD. I once was unable to say that, but now I CAN!!! Stand with me and be SOLD OUT for GOD!!!